Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Snow White as I have written it
Normally such stories involve alcohol but this time the girl was sober when she found herself with seven dudes in the woods.
She’d stumbled on some kind of commune; the other residents unwelcoming initially them each having Pasts. But she took to this, seeking her own clean slate, and became resident maid and cook and was accepted by the other seven, since they had issues with even basic hygiene living as they did in the woods and, because they were dwarves, spending all day down the mines which dwarves have done since Tolkien invented them with such force they became real and we now have dwarves in real life.
The dwarves left their problems at the cave mouth, but the girl’s mouth was getting her into trouble. A psychotic witch sought her out, disguised as an old woman selling apples. Typically one of these apples was poisoned, a practice which has become common place today. The girl bit the poisoned apple and fell into a magical coma. The witch was then chased over a cliff by local wildlife in a freak circumstance. She survived the fall only to be mauled to death by a mountain lion.
The dwarves find the girl, decide she is dead and put her in a tomb. A day later a young man who enters tombs looking specifically for recently perished girls thinks jackpot and, getting started, plants a kiss on her lips which magically revives her. He thinks rumbled! But it turns out he’s a prince; marries the girl and runs the kingdom into the ground.
She’d stumbled on some kind of commune; the other residents unwelcoming initially them each having Pasts. But she took to this, seeking her own clean slate, and became resident maid and cook and was accepted by the other seven, since they had issues with even basic hygiene living as they did in the woods and, because they were dwarves, spending all day down the mines which dwarves have done since Tolkien invented them with such force they became real and we now have dwarves in real life.
The dwarves left their problems at the cave mouth, but the girl’s mouth was getting her into trouble. A psychotic witch sought her out, disguised as an old woman selling apples. Typically one of these apples was poisoned, a practice which has become common place today. The girl bit the poisoned apple and fell into a magical coma. The witch was then chased over a cliff by local wildlife in a freak circumstance. She survived the fall only to be mauled to death by a mountain lion.
The dwarves find the girl, decide she is dead and put her in a tomb. A day later a young man who enters tombs looking specifically for recently perished girls thinks jackpot and, getting started, plants a kiss on her lips which magically revives her. He thinks rumbled! But it turns out he’s a prince; marries the girl and runs the kingdom into the ground.
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